Femininity is something that is sexualized, but also devalued, heavily marketed, and yet also flattened in certain circles.
It plays a big role in my life by way of expression, identity, sexuality, and an act of defiance towards social norms.
American culture, as in the United States, on a greater scale, values laziness, the superficial notion of 'comfort,' living isolated away from communities (white picket fence homes), delivery services, streaming. As a result of that, the stereotype of an American is someone who is overweight with "hot dog skin," lazy, doesn't walk anywhere. A lot of the stereotype rings true. The United States is mostly built around car infrastructure. Third spaces are being eliminated. Neighborhoods are purposefully built without sidewalks, to isolate people based on income/class, and to discourage walking. People are antisocial. They don't want to talk to their neighbors. America is a poster child for social and cultural degradation, anti-intellectualism, and laziness.
Being hyperfeminine will get you glared at in many American cities. I experienced this a lot in Portland, Oregon, the South, and the Midwest. Especially if you're over 30.
I'm not Heterosexual, and I don't identify as Bisexual either; mainly because of certain normalized dynamics. The social role for a Heterosexual dynamic is that women are expected to be dolled up for the male gaze. The women exist for the consumption of men. This is one of the main things that turned me off from Goth/Industrial spaces/scenes. Women still try to make an effort, meanwhile the men are all neckbeards in cargo shorts gawking at the go-go dancers.
Men are allowed to be complete slobs, not work on themselves, not wear makeup, not take care of their skin.
I've been attracted to J-Rockers because they blur these stupid social mores. Although romantically, I'm only attracted to women, physically, I could be attracted to a guy who looks like a Final Fantasy character (androgynous, makeup). That's the ONLY way I'm attracted to men/masc people in general.
This isn't something privy to Hetero dynamics either.
The mainstream/normie Lesbian community social pressures people to mimic heterosexual relationships. The "butch & femme" dichotomy. The butch/masc/stud holds the door for the femme. It reminds me of 1950's values all over again. Being a femme sapphic while being attracted to only femmes is something that will lead you to social backlash in those spaces: "bla bla gender abolitionism/vulva pillow stitching circle politics." That's why I don't hang out in lesbian/gay/pride clubs and circles either. Also ironically, some of the most fucked up, bigoted, stuff ever said to me, was from butch lesbians that I worked with at a LGBTQ nonprofit. This, of course, could have been a survival tactic from bigotry from heterosexual society against lesbian women. But like all things, it creates a cultural vacuum that can be overcorrective, reactionary.
Progressive game devs in Western studios have a very WEIRD dynamic with femininity as well.
There is a stupid culture war that never seems to die. The predictable, reactionary, conservative ilk that blames games for having ugly/frumpy characters on woke/DEI culture.
They're half-right, for the wrong reasons. Western studios tend to associate femininity/conventionally attractive female characters with "male gaze," "objectification," and therefore, something negative. Instead of following the formula that Eastern studios of having the male characters be eye candy as well, they'd rather butch-up the female characters. It's weird Femmephobia by hipster Millennial progressive men, who embody the 'performative male' archetype. And I have nothing against progressivism, I would identify as one. However, there is a lot of overcorrections. Bayonetta, 2B, and Kaine' would like to have a word.
Femininity is something that both titillates, but also creates ire, when it isn't performed in the way that society, especially the deep-fried hamburger morals of the United States expects.
Comments