I was maybe 14 or 15 when I first discovered my love for Wumpscut and Skinny Puppy. That bridged the way for me to research Goth music. I think the first actual Goth band I learned of was LA's Fear Cult by way of a MP3.Com when it was around. From there, Cinema Strange, Tragic Black, London After Midnight.
I'd probably explored every flavor of Goth culture. From Neue Deutsche Todeskunst "Grufti" music like Sopor Aeternus, Lacrimosa, Das Ich, to Deathrock like Catholic Spit, Eat Your Make Up, to Minimal/Coldwave as in Winter Severity Index, The Frozen Autumn.
Although it can be a subculture that is aesthetically pretty (at least the women and femmes who actually make an effort), it just hasn't satiated me in a very long time, and I think I know why.
The things that I value in a subculture:
Being playful, messy, chaotic, flirty, aesthetic-maxing, femme, cute, & unhinged (in the best way possible)
Goths are stoic, gatekeepy, static, nostalgic, monochrome, serious, cliquish, aloof, with masculine energy, traditional
Other subcultures that I'm into makes me feel electric, alive.
Other subcultures that I'm into makes me feel electric, alive.
Goth makes me feel creatively suffocated and like I've just walked into a retirement home.
I WISH Goth subculture was like Jhonen Vasquez panel, but it's really not. It's more like a Reddit community.
The older I get, the more I feel like I want more chaos/fun, not to slow down and live like The Munsters. I'd rather toaster bath. I just have different needs to be happy.
To quote Chainsawman - The Reze Arc, I'd rather be the city mouse than the country mouse